Proper 27B (Ruth 3:1-5; 4:13-17) – 11/08/2009

Today, we are blessed to have The Reverend Dan Heischman visiting us and sharing his thoughts from his recent book, Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood. Dan speaks from his many years of experience working with young adults and their parents in various educational settings. His book is full of thoughtful insights regarding the impact of one’s words and actions in the presence of young adults. These words and actions form the basis of the influence that a person holds over another. Heischman writes, “Influence has to do with the manner in which a young person takes in the voice and example of an important adult, and makes that internal voice a formative factor in his or her life. Influence is what remains within when the…role model has been left behind. What that young person holds on to, and uses to make senses out of life, is what I mean by the elusive but critical notion of influence.”[i] Heischman’s point is that the manner in which one shares their words and actions toward another person matter a great deal and will likely be the cause for the success or failure of one’s effort to mentor the young adult. He then outlines four key characteristics of influence that I would like to share with you this morning. “Influence is about separateness as well as togetherness; influence is about presence; influence is about sitting with a problem and not solving the problem; and influence is about the inner voice.”[ii] These characteristics of influence can be challenging to us, challenging to the cultural norms that many of us face in our daily lives. As I read this book throughout the past week I remember thinking that I wished Dan had written the book years earlier so I could have benefited from his insights before reporting for duty in the Navy.

After years of undergraduate education and specialized training in nuclear power and submarine operations, I reported to the submarine and took charge of my first division of sailors, many of whom were about my same age but had already made several ocean deployments and had the experience of being at-sea. After meeting everyone, I was fondly greeted with the words, “welcome to the real Navy, Mr. Perkins.” In other words, the years of training held little value to these ocean going members of the Navy. During the following months and years on that submarine, I continually learned that my ability to influence these very capable young men was possible only through a careful balance of what Dan Heischman describes as separateness as well as togetherness. Being present to others and sitting with them in their troubles, not simply trying to solve their problems, were also important parts of serving together in the small community of that submarine. That small community served as a crucible for forming relationships with others, because without relationships we cannot hope to successfully gain the trust of others and influence them. In our first reading this morning, we hear a very small portion of the ongoing relationship between Naomi and Ruth.

The relationship between Naomi and Ruth is described in the 4 short chapters of The Book of Ruth, located between The Book of Judges and The First Book of Samuel. The Book of Ruth beautifully describes the journey of Naomi and Ruth, two strong women who constantly face new and challenging circumstances. In the first 5 verses of The Book of Ruth, Naomi, her husband and her two boys are forced to leave their Jewish community of Bethlehem due to a famine; they move to the foreign land of Moab where Naomi’s husband soon dies; soon after her two boys marry local Moabite women and after a period of 10 years Naomi’s sons both die. Naomi and her two daughters-in-law are left with very little: no men, no status, no inheritance, and seemingly no future. Naomi decides to return to her birthplace of Bethlehem and tries to convince her two daughters-in-law to stay with their Moabite families and leave Naomi to face her uncertain future alone. One daughter-in-law takes Naomi’s advice, but the other daughter-in-law, Ruth, will not leave Naomi’s side. Ruth responds to Naomi with a beautiful vow of faithfulness, saying to Naomi: “Do not urge me to leave you, to turn back and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus and more may the Lord do to me if anything but death parts me from you.” (Ruth 1:16-17) Naomi relents and the two women travel to Bethlehem, hoping to seek the safety and security of Naomi’s people. Throughout the remainder of the story, Naomi’s loving and insightful wisdom is showered upon Ruth and is reciprocated with Ruth’s loving and faithful responses to Naomi.

Our lesson this morning contains the first few verses of chapter 3, allowing us to hear Naomi’s advice to Ruth regarding a visit to Boaz. We do not hear the remaining verses of Chapter 3 in our lesson, but the following verses tell of Ruth’s visit to Boaz. Ruth, the widowed Moabite woman who is a stranger in this Jewish community of Bethlehem not only follows the advice of Naomi, but confidently converses with Boaz to ensure they will soon be married. The conclusion of our lesson tells of the successful outcome of Ruth’s visit to Boaz – her marriage, the blessings of a son, the security of family, and a royal lineage that leads to King David.

The story of Naomi and Ruth begins as a story of loss, separation, and life lived as an outsider. However, throughout the entire story we hear of the love and faithfulness of Naomi and Ruth. We experience Naomi’s influence on Ruth’s life through her loving presence, her patient wisdom and her faithfulness to her God. The story of Naomi and Ruth is a beautiful example to us of “teaching the wisdom of adulthood” to others through the love and faithfulness of relationship. Dan Heischman provides 3 valuable insights about those who successfully influence others in the wisdom of adulthood. First, they see young people for who they really are, even in the complexity and uncertainty of daily life. Second, they are able to put their life to one side in an effort to aide others. And finally, they do not always realize the impact they have on the lives of those they influence.[iii] Although our reading this morning is from The Book of Ruth, we should realize that Naomi is given to us as a model of one who influences others through her courage; through her faithfulness; and through her deep and abiding love. I pray that we may be influenced by the example of Naomi and seek to influence others through our words and actions of love and service. Amen

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[i] Daniel Heischman, Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood, (New York, Morehouse Publishing, 2009), 25.

[ii] Heischman, Good Influence, 26-35.

[iii] Heischman, Good Influence, 126-133.